Mercutio
Pain Spectrum – pure red for the last three days, in varying degrees.
BM/RD Index – 28-30. Feeling pretty blue.
Fuzz meter – pretty fuzzy, so please excuse any meanderings today.
This past week saw an all-too-common occurrence in the New York Tri-State Area: the fluctuating weather pattern. Wednesday and Thursday were beautiful, balmy days full of the joy and promise of summer. By Friday night, the temperature was dropping fast. Saturday came the rain, and the cold. And with that came the pain. Plans? Finished. I spent the weekend huddled either on the couch or the bed, in various stages from mildly comatose to knocked-out sleep. The pain has been pretty bad. The sun came out for a bit and the pain levels began to alleviate, but this morning brought thunderstorms and more pain. The sun is finally coming out now, but today marks day three, and I’m shattered. I didn’t always react so strongly to the weather, and hopefully, as I build my strength back up from that car accident from a year and a half ago (more on that in a later post), I will stop being such a human barometer. But it does beg the question: how much does where we live effect how we feel?
I do not have a good answer for this. I have lived in a variety of places in the world, and all of them had weather conditions that varied from not so good to pretty damn crappy for much of the year – long winters, humid summers, lots-o-rain – that sort of thing. New York has been the best of a bad bunch. I have had many people suggest that moving to a drier, or at least more temperate, climate could do wonders for the pain. This would seem like a simple problem. Time to move, right?
Well, no. I love NYC. My family is here; K works and goes to school here. The city is compact and relatively easy for someone of limited mobility to negotiate. There is a tremendous diversity of culture, and much of it is free for the taking. The weather here may not be San Diego constant, but when it works, it is glorious.
From what I have read, the verdict is out on this. For every one report that says to those in chronic pain, “You must move!” there is another claiming that it makes no real difference. I have always believed that one’s level of overall happiness plays a big part in this. We all know how closely tied depression and pain are to one another. I am happy in the here and now. It would depress me to move away from so much that I love, and surely that would impact my pain levels, regardless of the weather?
Suspect reasoning, I know. Either way, I have always managed to avoid giving the weather theory any real test, but this may be about to finally change. K and I are going to be taking a trip that, owing to a series of circumstances that could only be family related, will force us to be in the Northwest over the New Year 2007. Rather than spend yet another vacation in the cold and damp (I honestly don’t know how we always manage it), my SCBF has come up with the brilliant idea that we jet down to Southern California, a place that neither of us have been. SoCa, were it is always warm, and mild, and at least in the winter, relatively free of humidity. In other words, point zero for my so-called perfect weather.
I do not want to go. The very thought of it terrifies me. It is, as I see it, a lose-lose scenario. If I feel consistently better while we are there, then I will have to at least give the idea of moving away from my beloved city some consideration. And if the weather does me no damn good? All these years, like it or not, I have kept the idea of the magical land of perfect weather in the back of my mind. It has always been there for me, a balm when things get really rough; the idea that we could always move to better weather. It would be another myth destroyed. And I do not have many of those left. So, do we go, or do we stay? Perhaps there has been a reason for all those trips to the cold places after all.
BM/RD Index – 28-30. Feeling pretty blue.
Fuzz meter – pretty fuzzy, so please excuse any meanderings today.
This past week saw an all-too-common occurrence in the New York Tri-State Area: the fluctuating weather pattern. Wednesday and Thursday were beautiful, balmy days full of the joy and promise of summer. By Friday night, the temperature was dropping fast. Saturday came the rain, and the cold. And with that came the pain. Plans? Finished. I spent the weekend huddled either on the couch or the bed, in various stages from mildly comatose to knocked-out sleep. The pain has been pretty bad. The sun came out for a bit and the pain levels began to alleviate, but this morning brought thunderstorms and more pain. The sun is finally coming out now, but today marks day three, and I’m shattered. I didn’t always react so strongly to the weather, and hopefully, as I build my strength back up from that car accident from a year and a half ago (more on that in a later post), I will stop being such a human barometer. But it does beg the question: how much does where we live effect how we feel?
I do not have a good answer for this. I have lived in a variety of places in the world, and all of them had weather conditions that varied from not so good to pretty damn crappy for much of the year – long winters, humid summers, lots-o-rain – that sort of thing. New York has been the best of a bad bunch. I have had many people suggest that moving to a drier, or at least more temperate, climate could do wonders for the pain. This would seem like a simple problem. Time to move, right?
Well, no. I love NYC. My family is here; K works and goes to school here. The city is compact and relatively easy for someone of limited mobility to negotiate. There is a tremendous diversity of culture, and much of it is free for the taking. The weather here may not be San Diego constant, but when it works, it is glorious.
From what I have read, the verdict is out on this. For every one report that says to those in chronic pain, “You must move!” there is another claiming that it makes no real difference. I have always believed that one’s level of overall happiness plays a big part in this. We all know how closely tied depression and pain are to one another. I am happy in the here and now. It would depress me to move away from so much that I love, and surely that would impact my pain levels, regardless of the weather?
Suspect reasoning, I know. Either way, I have always managed to avoid giving the weather theory any real test, but this may be about to finally change. K and I are going to be taking a trip that, owing to a series of circumstances that could only be family related, will force us to be in the Northwest over the New Year 2007. Rather than spend yet another vacation in the cold and damp (I honestly don’t know how we always manage it), my SCBF has come up with the brilliant idea that we jet down to Southern California, a place that neither of us have been. SoCa, were it is always warm, and mild, and at least in the winter, relatively free of humidity. In other words, point zero for my so-called perfect weather.
I do not want to go. The very thought of it terrifies me. It is, as I see it, a lose-lose scenario. If I feel consistently better while we are there, then I will have to at least give the idea of moving away from my beloved city some consideration. And if the weather does me no damn good? All these years, like it or not, I have kept the idea of the magical land of perfect weather in the back of my mind. It has always been there for me, a balm when things get really rough; the idea that we could always move to better weather. It would be another myth destroyed. And I do not have many of those left. So, do we go, or do we stay? Perhaps there has been a reason for all those trips to the cold places after all.
posted by KS at 12:39 PM
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