WTF? Where to go when you want to know
The skinny on what the other pages are for, and what all those made up words and phrases mean. Like making up words? Want to see another discussion page? Wonderful - suggestions are always welcome and appreciated!
bm/rd index: The blue meanies and the red devils. A rating index of depression that runs from 1 to 50.
It is a fact of my life that pain and depression go together. I believe that it has to do with the way that I am hard-wired, and I am willing to bet that there are many others like me out there. Even at my happiest I can never escape being in pain; ergo, on some level I am always a bit down. Depression is a subtler beast than pain however, and is much better at hiding its claws as it digs deep into your psyche. That is where the Index comes in. It makes me evaluate, every day, how bad my sadness is.
Why blue meanies and red devils? Well, I tend to be a bit of an angry depressive. Besides, the whole concept is a bit monstrous, and I always feel that it is good to laugh your demons away. Here’s my rule of thumb for the index:
1-15: great day, barely even aware that the BMs are around.
15-25: mid-level bm day. Little bit sad, little bit mad.
25-40: volatile. Most of the time I am only suffering from high-level bms. Every so often, however, the red devils start to attack. I could go from grumpy to nasty in a nanosecond.
40-50: red devil territory. All SCBFs should run for emotional cover.
btw – I seriously hope that I am not the only chronic out there whose depression is not only pain-related but has a sharp sting to it. I would love to hear how others deal with it, or how you deal with depression in general. What type of barometer do you use?
chronics: People who are in pain all the time. The degree of pain can vary (and I sincerely hope that it does) but it never goes away. Ever.
fuzz meter: A ranking of concentration ability from 1(great) to 10(sucks). Ah, the fuzzies. Those tiny little tribbles that periodically try to take over my brain. I have been battling these little monsters since first becoming ill, and am still am not sure if they are illness related, pain-related, or a mixture of both (as with the bm/rd index, I would love to hear from others about this). Simply put, there are days when my brain refuses to work, where my ability to think becomes fuzzy. Fuzzies generally come out with higher pain levels, but not always. Sometimes they just appear on their own. The thing about fuzzies – when they are around, there is no getting rid of them. Rest can shorten their stay but nothing can make them simply vanish. It is good to remember that the fuzzies are not always bad; after all, fuzzy-sharp pain is better than sharp-sharp pain. But by and large, fuzzies stink; because when the fuzzies are high, I become the mental equivalent of a slug. Ugh.
medicine cabinet and tool chest: The medicine cabinet is the place to talk about meds that help with pain; the tool chest is for everything else. Exercise, meditation, alternative medicine – you name it; if it is not a manufactured med, it goes there. I hope that both of pages these will become places where people can discuss and ask questions about the two ways of battling pain: with medication and without. Splitting them up like this is for practical reasons only: I do not believe that the two are mutually exclusive, nor will I engage or promote a discussion about whether to medicate or not. Everyone responds differently to medication and treatments. What works for one person simply does not not always work for another. Yet I believe that any chance to alleviate one’s level of pain should be looked into, even if it doesn’t ultimately pan out. Think of these pages as suggestion boxes. The more that people share what works for them, the better chance someone has of finding something new that can help.
pain spectrum: My version of a pain scale, which is color-based. See the picture and note on the left.
raves & rants: This is the place to let it all hang loose. Really bad day, where the pain is all-encompassing and you are stuck screaming in your head? Rant it out here. Woke up and feel like you can (relatively) conquer the world? Great! Spread the news here.
The hardest thing for me to do is express how I am feeling; I mean, so what if I am not feeling well - like what else is new? But deep down, even I recognize it is essential that chronics share how they feel. Being honest about what my pain feels like and how it is affecting me on any given day is an important process for me, and for the SCBF’s who love and care for me. That is why I made the pain spectrum, the bm/rd index, and the fuzz meter. Sometimes, though, just gauging the pain isn’t enough. Sometimes, you just have to scream it out. That’s what the rants are for. It is also really important, however, to celebrate and to share the good days with people. Plus, a list, a mantra of what made it a good day, of what makes life beautiful in general, is so important to have when the pain is bad. I find them to be a lifeline. My raves give me something to cling to until the worst of the pain attack recedes.
So then, rant when you need to let go, and rave when you need to remember. Added bonus: chances are pretty good that around here, someone else will read it and truly understand how you feel.
scbf: stupid crazy beautiful freaks. The people who love and care about chronics. (And yes, family members count as SCBFs, too. Just because they are blood doesn’t mean that they have to care.) SCBFs have given themselves a thankless job. Caring about (and for) a chronic is difficult, to say the least: I do not know about the rest of you, but I give “high maintenance” a whole new meaning. Besides, how hard must it be to see someone you love always in pain and know that there is nothing you can do to fix it? Yet these wonders of the world do it anyway; hence their name. I thank the powers that be every day for granting me so many SCBFs in my life.
spors: The rest of humanity. From sporadic, because as the song (sort of) says, “everybody’s gotta hurt sometime.”
bm/rd index: The blue meanies and the red devils. A rating index of depression that runs from 1 to 50.
It is a fact of my life that pain and depression go together. I believe that it has to do with the way that I am hard-wired, and I am willing to bet that there are many others like me out there. Even at my happiest I can never escape being in pain; ergo, on some level I am always a bit down. Depression is a subtler beast than pain however, and is much better at hiding its claws as it digs deep into your psyche. That is where the Index comes in. It makes me evaluate, every day, how bad my sadness is.
Why blue meanies and red devils? Well, I tend to be a bit of an angry depressive. Besides, the whole concept is a bit monstrous, and I always feel that it is good to laugh your demons away. Here’s my rule of thumb for the index:
1-15: great day, barely even aware that the BMs are around.
15-25: mid-level bm day. Little bit sad, little bit mad.
25-40: volatile. Most of the time I am only suffering from high-level bms. Every so often, however, the red devils start to attack. I could go from grumpy to nasty in a nanosecond.
40-50: red devil territory. All SCBFs should run for emotional cover.
btw – I seriously hope that I am not the only chronic out there whose depression is not only pain-related but has a sharp sting to it. I would love to hear how others deal with it, or how you deal with depression in general. What type of barometer do you use?
chronics: People who are in pain all the time. The degree of pain can vary (and I sincerely hope that it does) but it never goes away. Ever.
fuzz meter: A ranking of concentration ability from 1(great) to 10(sucks). Ah, the fuzzies. Those tiny little tribbles that periodically try to take over my brain. I have been battling these little monsters since first becoming ill, and am still am not sure if they are illness related, pain-related, or a mixture of both (as with the bm/rd index, I would love to hear from others about this). Simply put, there are days when my brain refuses to work, where my ability to think becomes fuzzy. Fuzzies generally come out with higher pain levels, but not always. Sometimes they just appear on their own. The thing about fuzzies – when they are around, there is no getting rid of them. Rest can shorten their stay but nothing can make them simply vanish. It is good to remember that the fuzzies are not always bad; after all, fuzzy-sharp pain is better than sharp-sharp pain. But by and large, fuzzies stink; because when the fuzzies are high, I become the mental equivalent of a slug. Ugh.
medicine cabinet and tool chest: The medicine cabinet is the place to talk about meds that help with pain; the tool chest is for everything else. Exercise, meditation, alternative medicine – you name it; if it is not a manufactured med, it goes there. I hope that both of pages these will become places where people can discuss and ask questions about the two ways of battling pain: with medication and without. Splitting them up like this is for practical reasons only: I do not believe that the two are mutually exclusive, nor will I engage or promote a discussion about whether to medicate or not. Everyone responds differently to medication and treatments. What works for one person simply does not not always work for another. Yet I believe that any chance to alleviate one’s level of pain should be looked into, even if it doesn’t ultimately pan out. Think of these pages as suggestion boxes. The more that people share what works for them, the better chance someone has of finding something new that can help.
pain spectrum: My version of a pain scale, which is color-based. See the picture and note on the left.
raves & rants: This is the place to let it all hang loose. Really bad day, where the pain is all-encompassing and you are stuck screaming in your head? Rant it out here. Woke up and feel like you can (relatively) conquer the world? Great! Spread the news here.
The hardest thing for me to do is express how I am feeling; I mean, so what if I am not feeling well - like what else is new? But deep down, even I recognize it is essential that chronics share how they feel. Being honest about what my pain feels like and how it is affecting me on any given day is an important process for me, and for the SCBF’s who love and care for me. That is why I made the pain spectrum, the bm/rd index, and the fuzz meter. Sometimes, though, just gauging the pain isn’t enough. Sometimes, you just have to scream it out. That’s what the rants are for. It is also really important, however, to celebrate and to share the good days with people. Plus, a list, a mantra of what made it a good day, of what makes life beautiful in general, is so important to have when the pain is bad. I find them to be a lifeline. My raves give me something to cling to until the worst of the pain attack recedes.
So then, rant when you need to let go, and rave when you need to remember. Added bonus: chances are pretty good that around here, someone else will read it and truly understand how you feel.
scbf: stupid crazy beautiful freaks. The people who love and care about chronics. (And yes, family members count as SCBFs, too. Just because they are blood doesn’t mean that they have to care.) SCBFs have given themselves a thankless job. Caring about (and for) a chronic is difficult, to say the least: I do not know about the rest of you, but I give “high maintenance” a whole new meaning. Besides, how hard must it be to see someone you love always in pain and know that there is nothing you can do to fix it? Yet these wonders of the world do it anyway; hence their name. I thank the powers that be every day for granting me so many SCBFs in my life.
spors: The rest of humanity. From sporadic, because as the song (sort of) says, “everybody’s gotta hurt sometime.”
posted by KS at 5:04 PM
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